


What a Wonderful Day

by CrustaceanKing



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, Depressed Tsukishima Kei, Depression, Dysphoria, Gen, Gender Dysphoria, Rated teen for language, Sad Tsukishima Kei, Sorry Tsukki, Sorry Yamaguchi, Trans Male Character, Trans Tsukishima Kei, dysmorphia
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-13
Updated: 2020-09-13
Packaged: 2021-03-07 02:07:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,255
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26439184
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CrustaceanKing/pseuds/CrustaceanKing
Summary: From the moment Kei woke up, he knew it was going to be a shit day. Cramps hit his abdomen hard. Tylenol can’t help these ones. It took him fifteen minutes to will himself out from under his pile of soft blankets. Finally sitting up and moving to the edge of the bed, Kei notices the warm, sticky feeling in his boxers. Clearly off to a great start, he texts Yamaguchi to not wait up for him and to just go straight to practice, he knows he’ll be running late today. Kei cleans up in the bathroom before deciding a quick shower wouldn’t do him any harm.Turns out, it would.
Comments: 4
Kudos: 126





	What a Wonderful Day

**Author's Note:**

> hrggdjgjs first fic ive posted n itll probably be the last  
> i jus feel like shit rn so im self projecting
> 
> trigger warning: mentions of menstrual cycles, dysphoria, dysmorphia, purposeful meal skipping, depression, and anxiety  
> please don't read this if those will effect you in negative ways
> 
> also not edited. its 1 am rn n i just do not want to do that

From the moment Kei woke up, he knew it was going to be a shit day. Cramps hit his abdomen hard. Tylenol can’t help these ones. It took him fifteen minutes to will himself out from under his pile of soft blankets. Finally sitting up and moving to the edge of the bed, Kei notices the warm, sticky feeling in his boxers. Clearly off to a great start, he texts Yamaguchi to not wait up for him and to just go straight to practice, he knows he’ll be running late today. Kei cleans up in the bathroom before deciding a quick shower wouldn’t do him any harm. 

Turns out, it would. Peeling his clothes off, his eyes immediately go to his chest and stomach. The former looking bigger than the previous day, and the latter looking uncomfortably bloated and big. Kei nearly tears up at the sight of his unshapely body. Dysphoria and dysmorphia overwhelming him, causing him to feel much worse about himself, he takes off his glasses and steps into the comforting heat of the shower. He ends up standing under the scalding hot water, with closed eyes, for far longer than he originally planned, but he can’t find himself caring at the moment. He’d give himself this moment of peace, knowing he’d need it to get through the rest of the day. 

As soon as Kei steps out of the shower to dry himself off, he sees his body in the mirror. His moment of peace now shattered as he returns to the reality of his life. Closing his eyes again, he dries himself and quickly goes to find his binder. Usually Kei starts the day in his hated sports bra so he doesn’t have to change out of his binder and back into it before and after morning practice, but today he doesn’t care. If he even makes it to practice today, he’s just going to keep the black tank top binder on. He can’t handle seeing himself with the sports bra on today. 

After getting dressed, Kei heads downstairs to pack his bag. His mom calls out about having some breakfast but he ignores her, choosing to take two Tylenol instead. With how he looked in the mirror earlier, Kei decides he shouldn’t be eating anyways. The last thing he needs right now is to gain more weight. Grabbing his school bag, and purposely forgetting his volleyball bag, Tsukishima Kei leaves the house to trudge his way to practice. 

____________________________________________________________________________

Upon entering the gym, all eyes fall on Kei. He doesn’t like it. They’re all mad at him. They’re all judging him. They’re annoyed and ashamed and disgusted to have him as a teammate. Kei’s thoughts are quickly becoming overwhelming and unbearable. He feels his breathing picking up before Yamaguchi bounds over, “Good Morning Tsukki!”  
Kei mumbles out something barely even words and walks over to Coach Ukai. Looking and his shoes and fidgeting with his fingers, he quietly mutters the carefully rehearsed speech he worked on on the walk over, “I forgot my bag today. I was almost here by the time I realized so I didn’t turn around and go get it.”  
The coach just sighs, his frown deepening. Raising his voice, he gets the team's attention, “Does anyone have extra clothes Tsukishima can use during practice today?”  
Cheeks red with embarrassment, he looks up to see Sugawara walking over, with his usual kind smile occupying his face. “Follow me, I’ll get you something to wear.” 

Much to his dismay, and shock, Sugawara has something that seems like it’ll fit him. Giving Kei the clothes, the silver haired teen heads back to the gym. The situation is finally hitting Kei full force. He’s going to have to head out there, practice in his binder, and pretend all is well and jolly for him. The tall blond takes his time with changing. So much so that Coach sends in Yamaguchi to check on him right as he finished pulling the borrowed shirt over his black binder. 

“Kei, please tell me that’s not what I think it is. You know it isn’t safe to exercise in those. You’ll mess u-”  
“Please just shut up, Yamaguchi. I don’t have the energy to deal with this right now.”  
“Sorry, Tsukki.”

Yamaguchi turns around and leaves to go back to the gym as he sits down to tie his shoes. Taking as deep of a breath as he can, Kei stands up.

Throughout morning practice, Kei is off his game. He’s missing blocks left and right. His teammates keep glancing at him with what he perceives as annoyance and anger, but in reality is concern. Feeling humiliated, he rushes out of the gym as soon as the coach announces the end of morning practice. By the time the other players get into the locker room, Kei is almost fully dressed and ready to start his classes. 

____________________________________________________________________________

His morning classes go by painstakingly slow. Kei nearly falls asleep in two of them. The bell for lunch snaps him out of his little bubble of exhaustion. He quickly packs up and walks out of the room at a brisk pace to avoid people he knows (Yamaguchi). Finding himself behind a tree, Kei sits down and gets out his headphones. Turning on LoFi, he zones out for the remainder of his lunch break, doing and eating nothing. 

Sooner than he’d like, he's back in class and ready to zone out some more. The rest of the day goes just as slowly as the first half but Kei can do nothing other than wait for it to be over. He can’t help but dread afternoon practice even more than his morning one. 

____________________________________________________________________________

Kei is, unsurprisingly, late to afternoon practice. He’s far too tired to care though. It just means that he gets the locker room to himself while he changes. Taking his time, but not as long as he did in the morning, Kei puts the borrowed clothes from Sugawara back on and begins his short walk to the gym. He can already hear the squeaking of shoes and the shouts of his team mates. 

Half hour into practice, Kageyama, as blunt and dim as ever, shouts at Kei that his leg is dripping blood. Dread filling his stomach, he realizes he’s leaked and has little rivulets of blood descending his lanky legs. Mortified, he runs to the locker room with tears already forming in his eyes. Kei shoves his palms in his eyes as if it would stop the tears from falling, knocking off his glasses in the process. 

Cleaning up the best he could for the second time that day, Kei feels like Hell. Dressed back in his uniform, he walks through the gym and leaves. No one dares stop him. The walk to his house feels unending. The music he tries to listen to bothers him and feels wrong on his ears. Everything is off and uncomfortable. 

As soon as he arrives at home, he’s greeted by his brother. Akiteru asks how his day went but Kei just brushed off the question and heads to his room. Before he can make it, Akiteru is calling him by his deadname and asking why he’s being a dick and ignoring him. Now angry, on top of exhausted, embarrassed, and overall upset, Kei yells at his brother to shut the fuck up and stop calling him that before going up the stairs two at a time. 

Kei locks his door, gets into bed, and cries.

**Author's Note:**

> cryin hope u didnt hate it  
> if ur reading cause u feel like shit too, hang in there chief
> 
> also like. sry for making akiteru a dick  
> its self projection hours n thats how my brother is treating me rn lol


End file.
